My Dad

This is one of those posts that is purely for myself - just a way for me to think back and remember things- things that I love and miss. Thirteen years ago today my dad passed away. It was to this day the hardest thing I have ever experienced. I know that the experience was made easier by my knowledge of the gospel and the strength of an amazing mother- who through her selflessness made things easier for her kids.

I can't believe that it has been 13 years. And to be honest today isn't a day when I miss my dad the most- it is actually different days throughout the year. There are just normal days when I just miss him- or the special days when I would give anything to have him around.

I feel so blessed that I was the older of the kids (16) so that I was able to have had wonderful times with my dad- and times that I would be able to remember. Cassie the youngest was only 3 at the time so she doesn't remember anything. As I get older and my own family grows- I miss him in different ways- at first (prior to marriage) I missed him not having him around during my dating and high school years. I missed him not being around for Mike to ask his permission to marry me. Now I miss the grandpa that he would have been for my kids. He loved kids- and I know as I watch each grandchild come into the family that he would have absolutely fallen in love with each one of them- and would have been the cutest grandpa. I am grateful that the kids now have Joseph as their "papa".

- He used to call me "B" and on some occasions his "Queen B". My older brother Ryan still uses that nickname- and I love it.

-I miss his beautiful singing voice. At night he would often sing us to sleep. On of my favorite songs was "Little Boy Blue". He was asked quite often to sing in church for different things- and was known to at times to forget lines- It was those times where my mom's line "Don't embarrass the family!" originated from! I am so grateful for the gift that Joseph and my mom gave us a few years back- they put together a CD of a few songs that people happened to record over the years. Now if I want to remember his voice I just have to pop in the CD. Awhile back I was listening to it- and Samantha asked who it was- I told her that it was my daddy- she then asked "Mom- did he sing to me when I was a baby?" and I said- no and that he had died and lives in heaven now- her response was "Dang it!"

-I miss his hands. For some reason I remember as a child watching his hands- during church-as he worked around the house or in the yard- just whenever. The day they brought him home (the day before he passed away) I layed on the bed next to him for awhile and just held his hand. I am so grateful to have been able to do that.

-I miss seeing him grit his teeth. Whenever he got excited- he would grit his teeth as he talked. Luckily every single one of his kids does the same thing- so it's fun to see the same thing in each of us!

-At night when he would get home from work- each of us kids would stand at the top of the stairs and jump into his arms. Everyone else soon would reach the top stair- not me- always the 3rd or 4th (wuss).

-He was a hard worker. He always worked more than one job so that my mom would be able to be at home with us. He wanted each of his kids to learn the value of hard work and since we didn't live on a farm (where he thought true, hard work happens) he would get us jobs in the summer for a landscaper and as a family we would plant flowers. Oh the torture! He also got us a job cleaning a computer warehouse every Friday after school.

-He LOVED BYU- especially BYU football. He would get so intense about it. My brothers are the exact same way- so it has been carried on through them!

-I miss going to the park with him. He would map out an obstacle course and then times us. He would push us in the swings- the "underdog"- but he knew- I could only handle half of what he would do for the other kids!

-He liked to have PPI' s (Personal Priesthood interviews) with each of his kids on a monthly basis. I remember sitting up on my parents water bed- just talking with him. I never in my life ever doubted my dad's love and concern for me

-He loved the gospel. He loved the scriptures. He had a strong testimony and lived his life accordingly. He was on of the most humble men I know- he was always trying to better himself. I never heard him speak an unkind word about another person. His intentions were always good.

At his funeral the stake center was filled- all the way through the gym and up onto the stage. He unknowingly touched so many lives.

I am so grateful to be his daughter and to have had him as my father for the first 16 years of my life. I am grateful to know that there will be a day when I will get to see him again.

My dad was bishop of our ward at the time of his illness and death. The first Sunday that he came to church with his head shaved the deacons,teachers and priests in the ward surprised my dad by walking in together at the beginning of church with all of their heads shaved as a show of love and support for my dad. (The story was featured in the New Era.)

I don't have a lot of pictures of me and my dad- but these are two of them- (both are with Ryan and myself.)